Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
