ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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