Buhtt sex?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
