How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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