You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize