your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
