dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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