So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
