just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
