So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
