He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
