Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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