If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
