Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
