Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
