My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
