The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
