ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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