wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
