Say something about gay babies.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
