Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
