I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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