There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
