Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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