i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
