I CAN MOONWALK!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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