College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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