it wasn't lemon gatorade
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
