they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Too much gin, very little bucket
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
