Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize