Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
