Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
