There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
