normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
