you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Pooping to opera.
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