I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
