you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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