A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
