and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
worst night to have a conscience
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
