super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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