i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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