I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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