He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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