Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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