sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
