id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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