I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
