I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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