Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
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