what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
