ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
