all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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