Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
