i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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