im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just cut my nipple shaving
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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