she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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