I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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