Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
