how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
